


Down at the Renaissance Faire

by LoveChilde



Category: NCIS
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 3, Community: purimgifts, Dress Up, Gen, Humor, Renaissance, puri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-04
Updated: 2012-03-04
Packaged: 2017-11-01 03:30:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveChilde/pseuds/LoveChilde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gibbs is pissed at Ziva and Tony. Thus, they end up undercover at a Renaissance Faire. An Evil Vizier interferes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Down at the Renaissance Faire

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hagar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hagar/gifts).



> Not mine, written for PurimGifts 2012.

"Why are we doing this again?" Tony tugged on the cuffs of his velvet tunic uncomfortably. The thing itched, and was a garish shade of red with green and purple trim, not at all his best colors. At least he'd argued his way out of the tights, in favor of looser black linen trousers. He was going to freeze his ass off.

"Because we pissed Gibbs off." Ziva sighed. She didn't look any happier than he was, in a long sweeping gown of blue and silver, with sleeves that almost touched the floor and a skirt that was, as she'd pointed out, impossible to fight in. Abby had been absolutely delighted to get to dress them, plaiting Ziva's hair under a tall, absurd hat, and forcing a sort of ridiculous hood on Tony, as well as a wooden sword. At least he was armed…"I can't reach my knife in this dress." 

"That's ok, you can't run in it either." Tony pointed out, only to find that the sleeves did nothing to prevent her from elbowing him in the ribs. "Oof. No, really, why are we the ones stuck at the Ren-Faire? Nobody's going to attack anybody there, unless it's with fake swords or- or to a drinking duel! He should've sent Elflord, it's right up his alley."

"Yes…But you pissed him off." Ziva repeated patiently.

"Hey, you helped!"

"Fine, I helped." Ziva scowled. It had just been their usual bickering, how were they to know that Gibbs had been just around the corner and in a foul mood? They'd been sent to cover the Ren-Faire where their subject's daughter was performing, 'just in case someone tries to kidnap her for leverage', while Gibbs and McGee covered the security consultant at risk. And why they were suddenly playing VIP bodyguards was anybody's guess, really. Why they had to do it in period dress, well…That was just Gibbs being a bastard, Tony suspected. "Let's just go. We need to keep her in our line of sight."

"Yeah, which means we need to sit there for six hours and listen to medieval music. Do you know what medieval music sounds like, Zee-va?" Tony tugged on his sleeves again. The goddamn lace was itchy. 

"I do not, Tony."

"I don't either, and I don't want to find out."

"Go, Tony. Enough time in the changing area, we're calling attention to ourselves."

"I hate playing dress-up." Outgoing as he was, and as experienced in undercover work, Tony disliked costumes- and in this getup he really felt stupid. 'Let's just try to fit in, ok?" 

Ziva just rolled her eyes and dragged him outside. They both bought tankards of non-alcoholic cider, dodged around jugglers and knights, and settled down where they had a comfortable vantage point that allowed them to see both the 'minstrel band' where their assigned subject was, and most of the rest of the crowd. After a few hours Tony went to get them meat skewers and baked apples, which they both agreed were surprisingly edible, and honey pastries which were nothing at all like the baklava Ziva liked, but were pretty good regardless. If they hadn't been on high alert- and if the band hadn't sounded like tortured felines accompanied by a flute- it might've been a fun day out. 

Purists glared at Tony when he pulled his ringing phone out of the pouch on his belt. "Yeah boss?"

"Somebody just tried to grab our guy. We neutralized him, looks like a gardener with a grudge, working alone."

"Oh." Well, wasn't that almost disappointing. "No terrorist threat?"

"None. You two get your asses back here, I expect a report by morning."

"But boss, we don't really have anything t-"

"Report, DiNozzo. By morning. Clear?"

"Clear, boss." Tony sighed and shrugged as Gibbs hung up without saying goodbye, as usual. 

"Are we done here?" There was a distinct note of hope in Ziva's voice.

"Yup. Let's go." Tony hopped down from his seat and right into the path of an older man in official-looking robes. The man didn't stop, and both men crashed to  
the ground in a tangle of limbs and velvet. People around them gasped and the other man, dragging himself upright, glowered at Tony.

"Young man, what is the meaning of this? You will come with me right this instant and explain yourself! We are not infidels or barbarians."

"Whoa, whoa-" Tony noticed the man bore a name tag reading 'Robb Lane, High Vizier', and assumed this was one of the guys running the show. "Look, I didn't mean  
for you to walk into me, ok? It was an accident, and we're just leaving, ok? No harm done."

"Plenty of harm." The High Vizier was still glowering. "Do you have any idea how much it costs to get these robes dry cleaned? I'm covered with mud!"

"Tony, we're causing a scene." Ziva said under her breath. Tony rolled his eyes and pulled out his badge.

"Federal agents, here on official business, and we're just about done. I have a report to write, Mr. Grand Vizier, do you want to be included in it?" He flashed the badge fast enough that the man didn't see which agency they were with, but he responded quickly enough.

"Oh- oh, well, in that case I suppose-"

"We can go?" Ziva suggested archly.

"Yes- yes you can go, of course- God bless America!" He couldn't see them out fast enough, which was just as well.

Ziva was still snickering as they changed back into normal clothes. "Grand Vizier. I'll never understand Americans."

"Me either." Tony shook his head.

Later, Gibbs caught Ziva on the way out. "Hey, had fun today?"

"Was I supposed to?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Ducky mentioned something about a Jewish holiday this week, thought I'd give you a chance to celebrate."

Her eyes widened, then filled with suppressed laughter. "You know, I'd forgotten entirely.Was that what the entire assignment was about?"

"Partially, at least." He winked. "Happy Purim, Ziva."


End file.
